Sunday, February 10, 2013

RP #5

The all powerful Tensai was nowhere to be found this week. He was more than likely meditating on ways to become an even more dominating warrior. If such a thing were even possible. But his faithful ninja's, dressed in matching silver and purple wrestling attire, were out and about backstage. We join them now.

Portia Perez: So Tensai isn't around at all?

Nicole Matthews: Nope.

Portia Perez: So we can go out in front of the audience and say whatever we want without having to worry about being shouted at in broken Japanese?

Nicole Matthews: And if he see's the footage later we can just tell him that we were possessed by ancient, evil ghost spirits.

Portia Perez: You know what's scary? He'll actually believe that. But forget that. Time's wasting!

The live audience was greeted by the ninja's as they appeared on the stage while their energetic and very Asian theme music played at a respectable level. They gave each other wry grins while both held a microphone in their hands.

Portia Perez: Hello Americans! You may not be aware of this but I am a Canadian!

Nicole Matthews: I am also a Canadian!

Portia Perez: You also may not be aware that Canadian's do one thing better than anything else! Wrestle!

Nicole Matthews: Seriously. Name one bad Candian wrestler. You can't! All Canadian wrestlers are amazing and we carry on this tradition!

Portia Perez: We know many holds and moves! 

Nicole Matthews: Killer tag team moves too! Tag team moves that will wipe the mat with our opponents this week! And who are our opponents?

Portia Perez: Kelly Kelly and Brooke Tessmacher! They are not Canadian and therefore they are inferior wrestlers by default! They aren't even slightly Canadian! Not even a quarter! We are going to kick and punch them very hard!

Nicole Matthews: And claw and scratch if necessary! We know that these two are used to pillow fights and spanking matches or what have you so, yes, we are taking them very lightly!

Portia Perez: Also and on a completely unrelated note! Trending on twitter somehow helps win matches! Please do not use any internet trickey to help those two pull off a win! Hastag anything Kelly Kelly or Brooke v Tessmacher is FORBIDDEN! Only Hashtag Canadian Ninjas or Hashtag Samurai Pizza Cats is acceptable! Thank you and tweet wisely!

The ninja's tossed their mics down and left as quickly as they came. The audience was befuddled and surely torn in which direction their tweets should head on the eve of this destructive encounter.

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