RP #3

Thoughts weighed heavily on the might brain of Tensai. His expression was one of contemplation. What had he done to upset Emperor Jericho? He was victorious in his match against Big Dave. Why had he been selected as the number one entrant in the esteemed and grueling Royal Rumble? Backstage is where all of these large thoughts floated through this mind. He was to the left and right of the Gajin Mauler was Portia Perez and Nicole Matthews. Matt Striker was standing by and ready to listen to what would certainly be inspiring words from The Lord himself.

Tensai: What have I done to upset honorable Jericho-Sama? Why have I been selected to be given the most difficult task? To win the Royal Rumble from the very first entry?

Tensai waxed poetic while Nicole and Portia gave each other puzzled looks. Tensai's deep and philosophical nature was soaring over their heads.

Nicole Matthews: Um. What? He picked your name out of a raffle thing. It's not some kind of statement from the heavens.

Portia Perez: And did you call him Jericho-Sama? He's a GM. Not an emperor. 

Matt Striker: I do believe it's all luck of the draw, Tensai. 

Tensai would hear none of this. He glared down at Matt Striker and his stupid haircut.

Tensai: You clearly know nothing of fate. I have been selected. And I will conquer. I will use my immense size and willpower to throw all twenty nine men from that ring. I will main event Wrestle Mania. I will bring the glory of Japan to the U.S. And during that time I can only hope that Santino is an early entry. He must pay for his slander of my good name.

Portia Perez: Huh? That's it? You gotta do better than that! Call him a bitch!

Nicole Matthews: Yeah! A bitch that used to hit people with a SOCK PUPPET!

Portia Perez: Say something about his weiner. Being small.

Tensai was appalled at such lewd behavior. He shook his head in dismay.

Tensai: Disgraceful. I will not stoop to such levels. My superior strength and athleticism is all I need to prove dominant and hurl bodies from the ring. TENSAI ICHI-BAAAAAAAN!

Tensai stormed away after that impressive declaration of victory.

Matt Striker: Portia, Nicole, you both have drawn entry into the female Rumble as well. I don't think I need to tell you that the winner receives a title shot at Wrestle Mania. Would you care to speak on your opponents?

Nicole Matthews: No.

Matt Striker: What?! You DON'T?

Portia Perez: We don't have time to come up with individualized insults and scenario's for eleven other people.  

Nicole Matthews: Seriously.

Portia Perez: Besides that isn't going to help us win. But do you know what will? Our killer tag team moves that we haven't even got to show off yet. Tag moves that are illegal in all 50 states. You American's have a lot of strict laws on amazing tag moves. Yep. All 50 states. Except one.

Nicole Matthews: Atlanta, Georgia. And what do you know? That's where the rumble just happens to be taking place. So we're going to be throwing illegal tag moves all over that ring.

Matt Striker: And what will you do if the possibility arises that it comes down to the both of you?

Nicole Matthews: Well, you and everyone else in that arena had better hope that doesn't happen. 

Portia Perez: Because if that goes down this whole city is going to be ashes.

Nicole Matthews: It might actually bring about the end of the world as we know it. 

A long period of silence. Striker shuffled uncomfortably.

Porita Perez: I don't know what to do.

Nicole Matthews: Me either. Tensai always screams or breaks something to end these things.

Portia rubbed at her chin while Nicole placed her fists on her hips.

Portia Perez: We could..hit the camera man? I've seen people do that a lot.

The camera began to shake to indicate a "no" as the gentleman operating it feared for his life.

Nicole Matthews: Too cliche.

Portia Perez: Oh my god! Tensai! Come back over here! Striker said something about Japan sucking!

Nicole Matthews: Sucking a fat one!

Matt Striker: HUH?!

An insult towards the land of the rising sun would not be permitted as long as Tensai was in earshot. With a battle cry and the speed of a cheetah he rushed towards the hapless striker as the camera scrambled at the mere sight of the amazing scene it had just witnessed.