Tensai paced back and forth in front of an entrance to the arena. He adjusted the purple tie he wore and straightened out his black suit. His hands ran over his bald head and although it was physically incapable for Tensai to worry he was hiding something behind his dark sunglasses. Paige, his Queen and the Queen of the EBWF, was running slightly late. This did not suit well with Tensai and he began to pound his fist into his palm. If any harm had come to her there would be serious hell to pay. But the door opened and Paige emerged in all of her pale skinned, dark haired splendor. His worries went away. But just as quickly returned when he saw who stepped in behind her.
Paige: Tensai. This is Ryback.
Ryback: 'Sup.
Yes Ryback. The overly muscular force from Sin City. He was dressed in a pair of jeans in a black leather vest that said "RYBACK" on it and no shirt on underneath. Because Ryback doesn't need a god damn shirt. Tensai was very confused.
Tensai: I'm very confused.
Paige: Ryback has the same job as you. To make sure that no one lays a filthy hand upon me.
Tensai: But..I'm capable of doing this alone.
Paige: You're failing to understand. This is growing. I'm working on expanding my empire and one man alone simply cannot hold that entire weight on his shoulders.
Ryback nodded along in agreement.
Paige: Do get acquainted with one another. I fear I must be off.
The Women's Champion strolled away and Ryback took Tensai by the wrist and gave him a one sided fist bump.
Ryback: 500 Million Trillion Powers.
Tensai: Excuse me..?
Ryback: That's the name of our tag team. Listen. I've already got a match. I've got to beat up some dorky, little Swiss guy. I'll come find you. We'll do a little male bonding. Two big guy's doing big guy things. Catch ya later.
Ryback left Tensai alone by his lonesome and he looked rather distressed. But there was no time for that. It was now time for Ryback. He continued on down the hall where Todd Grisham stood ready to conduct an interview. The was a catering table behind him with a huge spread and the camera closed in on Todd.
Todd Grisham: He'll be arriving at any moment?
When the camera panned back the entire catering table was now missing every last bit of food. Ryback was standing behind Todd, picking his teeth.
Todd Grisham: Did you..just..eat all of that?
Ryback: The Big Guy needs a big meal. You know. "Feed me more" or whatever.
Todd was astonished that a single human being could eat that much but pressed.
Todd Grisham: With that to serve as an introduction-
Ryback: Can it, butt-head! The Big Guy doesn't need you to tell the world how he's going to beat up some nerd from Switzerland! Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
Ryback snarled and Todd nodded in such a way that his actions were saying "Yes Sir. Please punish this camera with your words.". He began to walk away before Ryback pulled back by placing his hand on his shoulder.
Ryback: On second thought. Don't go. I do need you. You make look even bigger.
And looking big was very important to Ryback.
Todd Grisham: A-Alright. Ladies and gentleman, I'm here with Ryback. He is going to be making his debut against Antonio Cesaro.
Ryback: More like..Dweebtario Cesar-NO. Hah. Am I right or what?
Todd Grisham: ....
One of Ryback's many talents was the art of stand up comedy and he didn't look pleased that Todd was not laughing at his joke.
Todd Grisham: But I'm very sure that's going to catch on very quickly.
Ryback: That joke probably went over your head. Now that's talk about Cesaro. He's a tall guy. Taller than me. Barely. But he's skinny as shit. Do you know that I have a singlet that says "BIG TRAPS"on it? That's because I have big traps. If Cesaro tried to wear something like that he would be exposed for a fraud because his traps are tiny.
Todd Grisham: Traps aside, Antonio did put on quite an effort against the current Breakout Champion recently.
Ryback: But did he lose?
Todd Grisham: He did.
Ryback: LOOOOOOSER.
Ryback placed his fingers into the shape of an "L" on his forehead.
Ryback: That proves that no matter what Antonio Cesaro will always have the spirit of a little guy. He isn't big enough to hold a title. And he's bald. I'm bald as well but it's by personal choice. I could have hair if I wanted but having no hair makes me more aerodynamic. Antonio has no hair because he's a beta and was going bald. I'm an alpha and I could have a long, luxurious head of hair whenever I want. Big hair for the big guy.
Todd Grisham: Male pattern baldness aside, Cesaro is a pure wrestler. He can go hold for hold with the best of them.
Ryback: I've heard him say he puts the "W" in "Wrestling", right? I think he puts the "W" in "WUSS!"
Ryback laughed with his fists resting on his hips and a twinkle in his eye.
Ryback: Damn, I'm funny.
Todd Grisham: "W"'s aside, we've seen Cesaro pull of some extraordinary feats of strength. You may not be able to overpower him as easily as you may think.
Ryback: Cesaro is a TWERP and he's gonna get CREAMED. Maybe he's sort of kind of strong but he's nowhere near as strong as I am. Do you really think he's going to be able to swing me around or toss me around the ring? YEAH RIGHT. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Switzerland may be neutral but I am not. I'm going to teach him to stay out of the ring and go yodeling at..The Phantom of the Opera or whatever sissy things he likes to do in his spare time. I've never met anyone from Switzerland that wasn't a total wimp. Antonio is no exception. What kind of name is ANTONIO? He sounds like a Tennis instructor. A name like Ryback is a name for big, bad ass, ass kicker and that's exactly what I am. Antonio isn't going to be able to fill me up, hell, he's barely an appetizer. So when I hit him with the Meat Hook Clothesline, I'm gonna lift him up for the Shell Shock, march around that ring, and drive him all the way back to that communist country he comes from. Antonio is going to learn that the only way to do things is to do it BIG!
One does not correct Ryback on the finer points of communism. Todd realized this and simply thanked Ryback for his time and wished him luck. But Ryback did not need luck for he knew that some nerd with leg wraps couldn't possibly hope to overcome him.
